I’ve never gone to jail. I’ve never had a DUI. My husband has never left me. My children have never been taken away. But I WAS guilty of the actions that warranted these consequences. I think this lack of consequences allowed me to sit in my internal chaos a little longer. I started drinking early and I drank a lot. I always made bad choices and that led to a lifetime of guilt and shame. Then the vicious cycle began, drinking to numb the feelings of guilt and shame and the pain from my past and then making more mistakes that caused more feelings…. I always knew I drank too much, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to. From the outside looking in things looked normal and under control. My life revolved around drinking. It’s how I chose my friends. It’s how I decided where I went and how I spent my time. I even found Christian friends I could drink with. Alcohol was my main priority. Inside I was dying. Through a series of events in my spiritual journey, I found myself in Celebrate Recovery. I was there to fix everything in my life but not to stop drinking. God had a different plan. Through my growing desire to be closer to God, it was clear I had to let it go. Confessing my alcoholism after being involved in Celebrate Recovery for 9 months was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. I surrounded myself with people in recovery who spoke truth in love to me. I shared everything, all the feelings, all the thoughts, all the pain, everything I had numbed for years. It was also the best thing I’ve ever done. I not only grew closer to God but to other women. I was experiencing real, honest, deep relationships. Now I find joy in walking alongside others and speaking truth in love into them and also continuing to have them speak into my life. It’s a much better cycle. Last September I celebrated 10 years of sobriety. I am grateful for all the people God put in my life to walk with through this process! If you are questioning whether or not you drink too much or drink for the wrong reasons, please visit our FIND HELP page to see what resources are available to you.