Addiction is a powerful disease, capable of making people act in ways they normally wouldn’t. Similar to other mental health challenges, a substance use disorder can alter your thoughts, feelings, and interactions with the world.
One way addiction changes behavior is by reinforcing the brain’s reward mechanism to the point where drugs or alcohol become the primary focus. Individuals may go to extreme lengths to continue using, including manipulating or lying to loved ones, which can devastate relationships and destroy trust. Loved ones may begin to wonder if they can truly trust or rely on the person who is struggling with addiction. Over time, this leads to broken relationships and a lack of trust between family and friends.
Unfortunately, getting sober is only the first step toward rebuilding trust and relationships. It often requires time, patience, and a willingness on your part to restore lost trust.
This article explores seven ways to rebuild trust with family during recovery.
1. Honesty and Transparency is Key
Honesty and transparency are the foundation of rebuilding trust, particularly after the damage caused by addiction. When you’re open and truthful with your loved ones about your thoughts, feelings, and actions, it shows your loved ones that you’re committed to change. This means taking accountability for your mistakes and sharing both your successes and struggles in recovery.
2. Be Consistent
Consistency is essential when rebuilding trust because it shows that your intentions are genuine and sustainable over time. People who are consistent are seen as reliable and trustworthy, and while addiction often makes people lack consistency, you can prove yourself reliable again by staying consistent with your actions.
When you follow through on promises, whether big or small, it reassures your family that you can be relied upon. Consistency in your actions—like attending recovery meetings, sticking to routines, or maintaining open communication—builds a track record of dependability. Over time, as your family witnesses your honesty, transparency, and consistency, you’ll be able to rebuild those relationships.
3. Be Understanding
It’s important to understand why your family may not trust you in the first place. Recognize that your actions while struggling with addiction have likely caused hurt, disappointment, and possibly even trauma. Acknowledging this and showing genuine empathy can go a long way in healing relationships with family members. Be sure to validate their emotions and reflect upon the way your family may feel.
4. Try Family Therapy
Family therapy is a powerful tool in rebuilding trust within families when one person is in recovery because it provides a structured, therapeutic environment where everyone can express their feelings and work through the challenges caused by addiction.
During therapy, a trained therapist can facilitate conversations that might be too difficult or emotionally charged to handle on your own, helping to break down barriers and foster understanding. The therapist can help your family address immediate issues, practice trust-building strategies, and develop communication skills.
5. Set (and Respect) Boundaries
Setting and respecting boundaries is essential in rebuilding trust because it establishes clear expectations for both you and your family members.
For you, it’s important to set personal boundaries that help protect your sobriety, such as avoiding triggers or environments that might lead to relapse. For your family, it means respecting their need for time, space, or certain limits as they work through their own healing process.
Boundaries can also involve clear communication about what behaviors are acceptable and what are not, helping to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. Healthy boundaries are essential for any functional relationship–particularly families with a loved one struggling with addiction or in recovery.
6. Stay Committed to Your Recovery
In order for your family to trust you, they need to see that your recovery is a priority and that you are serious about maintaining sobriety. You can demonstrate your commitment to your recovery by attending therapy, participating in support groups, and avoiding situations that could jeopardize your progress.
The longer you stay committed to your recovery, the more your loved ones will trust that this change is real and lasting, and the more willing your family will be to put their trust in you as a sober individual.
7. Remain Patient; Trust Comes With Time and Consistency
Practicing patience is difficult but necessary when rebuilding trust because the process is gradual and cannot be rushed. Trust, once broken, often takes time to repair, and your family may need time to heal from the pain caused by your past actions.
Do your best to remain patient with yourself and your loved ones as you navigate this journey together. Consistent, positive behavior over time, and sobriety, are what ultimately rebuilds trust within families who are affected by addiction. Each small, trustworthy action contributes to the larger goal of restoring confidence in your relationship.
