The holiday season can be a time of joy, connection, and celebration, but for people in recovery from substance use disorder, this time of year can also bring stress, temptation, and emotional challenges. Family gatherings, parties, and old traditions often involve alcohol or other triggers, and feelings of pressure or loneliness can easily surface, even when you’re least expecting them to.
If someone you care about is navigating recovery, your understanding and support can make a huge difference in helping them feel safe, included, and valued during this time of year. Here are seven meaningful ways to show support throughout the holiday season.
1. Take Time to Understand Their Feelings
Recovery is a very personal and emotional journey, and the holidays can stir up a wide range of emotions. Your loved one may feel anxious about social gatherings, guilty about past behavior, or worried about facing triggers. However, by taking the time to talk to them, listen, and understand how they feel, you can help them feel less alone.
Ask how they’re doing before the holidays begin. Something as simple as “How are you feeling about the holidays this year?” opens the door for honest conversation. Be sure to be patient and let them share whatever they’re comfortable with. Avoid trying to fix their emotions or offer quick solutions. Sometimes, just being heard is enough.
2. Prioritize a Holiday Environment that is Inclusive for People in Recovery
Many holiday celebrations revolve around alcohol or other activities that may not feel comfortable for someone in recovery. If you’re hosting or planning an event, one of the most supportive things you can do for someone in recovery is to make the environment inclusive for everyone.
This doesn’t mean making the entire gathering alcohol-free, but it does mean offering alcohol-free options and alternatives. Including festive mocktails, sparkling cider, spiced tea, or hot cocoa shows your thoughtfulness and support.
In the meantime, don’t draw attention to who is and who isn’t drinking. Let everyone enjoy themselves naturally without commenting on what they are (or aren’t) drinking.
If your loved one doesn’t want to attend certain events, respect their decision. They may be avoiding situations that could jeopardize their recovery, and that’s an act of strength, not isolation. Encourage them to do what feels right for their well-being, even if it means skipping some traditions this year.
3. Offer Sober Entertainment
Creating an inclusive environment also means focusing on connection rather than consumption. Activities like decorating cookies, playing games, or volunteering together create joyful memories that don’t depend on alcohol or substances.
Additionally, many communities host sober holiday events or service opportunities, like volunteering at a local shelter or food drive. These can all be meaningful ways to celebrate together.
If you’re the host, think of it this way: your goal is to show that the holidays can still be full of laughter, comfort, and joy without relying on anything that might threaten recovery.
4. Know the Right Things to Say
Words carry a lot of weight, so it’s important to choose language that’s respectful, supportive, and free from judgment.
Avoid comments like “Just one drink won’t hurt” or “You used to be more fun.” Even if said jokingly, these phrases can be discouraging and minimize the hard work your loved one has put into recovery.
Instead, use encouraging language that reinforces their strength and progress. You might say, “I’m proud of how far you’ve come,” or “You’re doing an amazing job taking care of yourself.” If the topic of recovery comes up, let your loved one lead the conversation. Don’t bring it up publicly or press for private details they may not want to share with everyone else.
It’s also okay to ask how you can best support them. A simple “Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you this season?” can go a long way.
5. Respect Your Loved One’s Boundaries
One of the most important ways to support someone in recovery is by respecting their boundaries. These boundaries are often what help them stay safe and focused. For example, they might choose not to attend certain events, leave early, or decline invitations altogether, and that’s okay!
Avoid taking their choices personally or trying to convince them otherwise. A statement like, “We’ll miss you, but I completely understand,” communicates both care and respect. It’s natural to want your loved one to be part of family gatherings, but honoring their limits shows that you value their well-being above all else.
By honoring the boundaries that your loved one sets, you help your loved one feel safe, respected, and empowered to continue their recovery journey.
6. Remind Them of Your Companionship and Support
The holidays can be a lonely time, especially for those who have lost connections due to past experiences. As a result, it can be beneficial to make an intentional effort to remind your loved one that they are not alone.
If you’re not there in person, reach out with a phone call or a text. Or, invite them to join in on safe, supportive gatherings or traditions. If they’re not up for group activities, spend one-on-one time together doing something simple, like cooking, walking, or watching a favorite movie.
Genuine companionship is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give this time of year!
7. Be Prepared With a Distraction or an Escape Plan
If your loved one feels uncomfortable at a gathering, help them step away. Offer to go for a walk, get some fresh air, or take a drive together. Sometimes, a short break can reset the situation and relieve some of the pressure or anxiety they are experiencing.
You can also plan ahead by identifying potential triggers and discussing what to do if they come up. Maybe it’s leaving early, having a trusted person to call, or keeping a recovery meeting on standby. The goal is not to control their experience but to be ready with supportive options in case they’re needed.
Knowing that they have someone they can count on can ease anxiety and prevent relapse during the holidays.
Support for Yourself or a Loved One This Holiday Season
If you’re trying to support a loved one who is in recovery, you don’t have to be perfect, and your heart is already in the right place. Being supportive is simply about showing care, giving respect, and extending understanding. By taking the small actions listed above, you can help create a safe, welcoming environment where your recovered loved one can enjoy the holidays without compromising their progress.
Looking for support for yourself or a loved one? Check out local peer support resources at https://apcbham.org/find-help/peer-support/ today!
